Category Archives: awkward

Bored this summer?

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Try solving a mystery!*

When we moved into our house last August, we met our neighbor D, his wife M, and their 18-month-old daughter A. They’re very friendly people, and we get along with them just fine. Over the course of the past year, we’ve seen D and A more frequently than M, and we don’t really talk to them, outside of the usual pleasantries (“Hi, how are you,” “Nice day,” etc.). Last week, Paul said to me, “What’s the D and M’s baby’s name?” I looked at him like he must be crazy and said, “It’s A, you know that.” “No,” he said, “not A. Their baby. They have an infant. What’s its name?”

All I could do was stare. What on earth was he talking about? “D and M don’t have an infant. I think we would’ve noticed that.” “Well,” Paul said, “I saw D walking in with a baby…carrying…thing…from the car.” “A carseat?” “Yeah, I don’t know what they’re called. Anyway, I definitely saw him walking in with one.” “Well, they could be babysitting for someone–maybe it was their niece or nephew or something.” Paul kept insisting that M was pregnant when we moved in and that she looked like she’d recently lost weight. I didn’t agree. I never remembered hearing/seeing that she was pregnant.

This ridiculous conversation ended by Paul telling me that it was my job to discover if D and M really did have an infant. So, for the past few days, I’ve been keeping an eye out whenever I see M go out into the backyard. Several times, I’ve seen M and A in the backyard playing during the day, and I’ve seen D and A outside playing in the evening. But no babies. Tuesday, when I was pulling out of my garage, I noticed a stroller in their garage and was so focused on deciding if it was for an infant or a toddler that I forgot whether or not I had closed the garage door and obsessed about it for the next 4 hours (no worries…I had). Sunday, I thought I spotted a double stroller in the garage, but couldn’t be sure.

Tonight, however, I finally admitted defeat. I was sitting in the living room when I saw M walk by carrying an infant. Is it possible that it’s just a niece or nephew? Yes. But I suppose all the evidence points to them having an infant right now.

Our next mystery is figuring out just how many teenagers are living in our other neighbor, V’s house. We think she just the one daughter, but the hockey equipment, boy’s mountain bike, and punching bag in the garage suggest differently….

 

*Please note that solving a mystery could cause suspicion, preoccupation, stalker-like tendencies, and memory lapses. Consider contacting your local law enforcement agency before taking on mysteries involving crimes.

10 Things I Complain About…But Secretly Enjoy

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LovelyAnomaly posted this earlier, and after our GirlDate this evening, I feel I should come clean…clear out some skeletons that are in my closet. 

  1. Country music (but only some…ceratainly not all)
  2. Pop music (again, only some)
  3. Leggings + mini skirts/mini dresses
  4. Starbucks
  5. Disney/ABC Family shows and original movies
  6. My 45-minute commute to work
  7. Being short
  8. Celebrity gossip
  9. Getting up early
  10. Pedicures

Oh crap

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In keeping with the theme of diagnosing myself with random things, I’ve decided I have dysphagia.  SLPers, you’re gonna love this one.

Case history: Female, 23 years old.  No previous history of swallowing difficulty.  Has no known history of head injuries or neurological insults.  Patient displayed difficulty triggering a swallow while eating a piece of toast at dinner.  She tried other foods (apple, eggs), and swallowed successfully, but continued to have difficulty triggering a swallow when eating toast, and later, other bread products.  Swallows thin liquids (water) easily.  What is your course of action? Diagnosis? 

Personally, I’m thinking the bread part is all psychological…which means eating my sandwich tomorrow should be fun.  But hey, at least then I’ll be around a licensed SLP who is used to doing swallow studies.