For the past several weeks (since before we left for Florida, actually), I’ve been hovering at the same weight, give or take 0.4 pounds. At this weight, I’m still 5 lbs above my ultimate goal, but I’m at a perfectly healthy weight. In fact, I’m squarely in the middle of my healthy weight range for my age/height. After having several conversations with the woman who weighs me in every week, I’ve decided to think about changing my goal. Am I happy at this weight? No, not entirely. But I think that might have more to do with the condition of my body than it is the actual number on the scale. That’s really the reason I’ve started this Active August challenge.
I’m living in a world of instant gratification. I don’t have to look through the TV guide to figure out what’s on TV (or even flip through the channels). If I feel like shopping, I don’t have to go to the mall if I really don’t want to. I can use the internet anywhere. The most waiting I ever have to do is for the laundry to be done, for dinner to cook, or for the mail to come. So, I kind of understand how it’s been frustrating to wait for my body to change. It’s not something I’m going to see after one workout. The cycle has been: workout for a week, get frustrated at the lack of results, quit. Start over two or three weeks later, etc. etc. It’s especially frustrating when it comes to running. I would really like to be a runner. I lie to myself all the time by saying I hate running. The truth is that I like running, but I don’t like going running because I have no endurance and I can’t run. Every time I start Couch to 5k, I end up giving up halfway through. Then, I have to start over the next time. Ugh! A coworker ran a 5k today in well under 30 minutes and said she had just started running a couple months ago. My first reaction was not to be happy for her, but to think to myself, “What the hell?! Why can’t I do that?” I know that it takes time and practice, but I just have no patience. Anyway, to keep myself motivated, I’ve made a list of 5k races I’m going to register for in the next few months.
Wow, lost my point somewhere in there. What I’m trying to get at is that I’m going to see how this whole “working out” thing goes, and the effects it has on my body (and self esteem) before I make any decisions about my goal weight.
Thanks for reading. I know that was rambley (and maybe full of typos…I’m not wearing my glasses…).